Volume 1
Sorrow of Separation
This is the first edition of manic pixie zine girl, a Vegas based zine. I like to illustrate but I’ve been too tired to work on any illustrations worthy of public viewing so my photos will do for now. I took these over the summer on 35mm. Shooting on film is more expensive, more of a gamble and you only get 37 shots but it is the technically more challenging form of photography and it feels more intimate. And yeah, you only have 37 shots so whatever you choose to photograph with those 37 shots feels more special. Oh you prefer film? Have fun looking at those grainy ass photos. And you know what, i love that grain. Theres even a subreddit for films that have the best grains and shit. People are freaks and i love them for that. Digital, film, you only live once baby. But make no mistake, one day you must die.
I send my last letter through the post. I know they just sit in your mailbox. I’ve forgotten what I’ve said by now and so much time has passed, that my words of affection are starting to expire.
This time I got down on my knees and spoke them into clasped hands, softly and sweetly like a prayer. My words heat my hands for a second and then spill out of my fingers like mud and then they’re cold again.
If I could help relight what once burned for me I would give you my kindling and gladly watch my fire dim. I hold my hands to your flame and it hurts so good.
Love is so hard but it’s all around me. I hear it in the laughs of my best friend and her lover when they’re alone in their room. I taste it in my mother’s cooking. I see it on my solo trips to the theater. But i haven’t felt the spirit of love stir in me for a long time.
Alas, i still pray for you.
